Denial of fear creates unloving actions and decisions

Mary: And I suppose that’s the point you’re making, isn’t it? A lot of us feel, “I love children. I hate war. I would
never participate in harming children or being involved in a war.” But when we talk about the emotions
that actually drive those things happening in our society, they’ve got nothing to do with children and war
and everything to do with fears that we don’t want to feel. And so because terror and fear seem to be so
insurmountable to us, something we will never conquer, that’s our false belief, we immediately can start
to justify things that with our rational mind, and even some place inside of us we feel, “Oh that’s wrong.”
But because fear seems so big and we want to be in denial of it, we can internally justify a lot of actions
that are actually very unloving.
That’s really the point of what I’m getting to here. In Western civilisation, we actually have greater fears than other
civilisations. So what we finish up doing is we create laws to circumvent the fear. We create attitudes in the society to
allow for the fear to occur and in addition we then, due to these fears, create events. Our soul is creating events that
support our fears. So when a government takes a specific action they are often feeling the fear of the society that they
govern and then they take an action based on the sum total of all of those fears. [00:33:14.04]
And this is the issue we face. We then, if you think about it, all bear a responsibility for what is happening if the emotion
exists within us. And for the majority of us, the emotion does exist within us because we haven’t addressed the fear at all.
We’ve just sort of made out that it’s not there. We haven’t actually felt it and had it actually removed from our soul. And
as a result the fear is still within our soul creating these events that we intellectually condemn. We’re hypocrites because
until we can see that this fear inside of me, this soul-based feeling inside of me that still exists, is creating the event that’s
negative that’s out of harmony with love. We are actually being hypocritical while we’re telling ourselves, “I am not a part
of that,” while at the same time we have feelings that make us a part of it. We are being hypocritical in the analysis.
And so what we do, and this is the thing that we always finish up doing, is we go, “Okay, there’s no such thing even as the
soul. There’s no such thing even as the emotions creating events. There’s no such thing.” Do you see what we do? We
finish up being totally resistive to accepting any of God’s Truth about the soul because if we accept the truths about the
soul, then we’ve got to accept that the soul creates events, and then we’ve got to accept that, “If I have a certain feeling in
my soul that support those particular events, then I’m a contributor to something that I don’t even like.” And rather than
actually go through the acceptance of that and then work through these specific emotions that are involved with that, what
we do instead is we go, “No, there’s no such thing as a soul. There’s no such thing as these emotions. I don’t even have
them in me.” That’s what we do. [00:35:13.03] THE HUMAN SOUL – DENIAL & ADDICTIONS JESUS (AJ MILLER)

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2.6. The soul’s emotions create events around us
And that helps us get out of the fact that it’s in there, creating, creating, creating new things. All of our soul-based
emotions are creating new things. Now if they’re fear-based soul emotions, can you see they’re going to be creating a lot
of negative things? And if they’re loving, truth based desires, can you see they’ll be creating a lot of positive things?
And this is where we do not understand the power of our own soul. We do not understand that while we’re thinking one
thing our soul can be feeling and creating a completely different thing. This is why psychologists have come up with the
concept of the subconscious mind. Why does a person keep gravitating back to the same event over and over again?
Because the soul has feelings in it that is pushing them into those events even when their mind says, “I don’t want to be
2.6.1. An example of a woman who was abused attracting abusive men
For example, why does a woman who was abused during her childhood by her father or someone else, or who has certain
feelings about her father, why does she finish up attracting abusive men in relationships, one after the other? When in her
head she’s saying, “I don’t want these men. Why do I keep getting these kind of men?” Because she’s in complete denial of
the emotion that is creating the event. If she knew the emotion existed that was creating the event, do you think she’d be
wise to actually release the emotion? And then she would never attract one of those abusive men again. [00:36:55.14]
She would walk in the door and be able to go, “Bang, bang, bang, bang. All of those people are all abusive men.” She’d be
able to feel every single abusive man in any environment if she released the emotion. But because she’s in total denial of
the emotion, what does she do instead? She walks in the door, and because she’s in total denial of the emotion she
actually attracts exactly the men that intellectually she’s saying we doesn’t want but here, in her soul, her soul’s going, “I
need this guy so that I can become aware that I’ve got a problem inside of my soul, to become aware that I’ve got a fear
and that I’ve got some issues I have to deal with inside of my soul. And once I release these issues then I won’t keep on
honing in on these particular guys.”
But instead of doing that, she says, “Oh these guys are all bastards, it’s all their fault. And I’ve got no idea why I’m
attracting these guys. It must mean that every guy on the planet is a bastard.” And after a while she actually believes that
because every guy she attracts is a person who eventually abuses her and she’s not focusing on the fact of why. So she
remains in denial. This is what we do.
2.7. To become at-one with God, all denial has to cease
Denial is a very powerful tool that we use to get rid of emotion. We use it to stop ourselves from experiencing emotions
we need to feel if we’re ever going to grow. If we’re ever going to get closer to God, all of our denials have to be gone. All
of them. Do you think God’s going, “You want a relationship with me, but actually you’re totally willing to destroy one of
my children any time this particular emotion is triggered.” So in the case of a fear of a person who’s considering abortion,
“Any time this rage with men is triggered, you’re willing to kill one of my children.” This is what’s God’s thinking.
Now do you think you could ever be at-one with God while that emotion exists? Of course not. And yet if you remain in
denial that it exists, can you see that you just finish up stagnating yourself? You finish up wrapping yourself up in this
self-delusional cocoon and feeling like, “No, I’m going good. Everything’s right in my life. I’m really good,” and you start
feeling like a sense of arrogance about your own life. But in the end all these fears are really dictating what’s going on in
your relationship with God, in your relationship with everyone else and in your relationship with yourself.
You’re shutting down emotion after emotion after emotion, which is the same as shutting down your soul. You’re shutting
down your soul. You’re selectively trying to experience emotions, so you’re trying to have nice emotions while you have
these other emotions and because we try to shut down these other ones, we think we can selectively shut them down, and
we can’t. And so what happens is we eventually go numb. We go depressed. Why do you think around 20% or so of
women in highly developed societies are on anti-depressant medication? Why do you think that is? It’s because we’re in a
lot of denial of a lot of emotion. That’s why it is. These are all the effects of denial. THE HUMAN SOUL – DENIAL & ADDICTIONS JESUS (AJ MILLER)

The importance of seeing our denial and becoming sensitive
So now what Mary wants to do is join denial up with addictions. Because if you think about it, there are reasons why your
addictions are maintained, which Mary wants to discuss with you. And they are all related to the desire to remain in
denial. So until we become honest about our denial we are going to struggle to become honest about our addictions.
Mary: Right. I’ll take the wheel. AJ was so inspired right then, does everyone need a breath because it was quite
intense, isn’t it? Yeah, so let’s breathe.
Actually I was thinking that last night that’s how many of you felt, like you needed to have a breather from the discussion
we had.
Mary: I think God designed the truth to be overwhelming. That way it grabs our attention and we go, “Whoa.”
Can I just say before Mary begins that actually we’re not trying to condemn you here. So there’s a feeling in some of you
of condemnation. But we’re not trying to condemn you; we’re trying to help you see, to become aware. Because if you
cannot become aware, it’s going to be very, very difficult to ever get close to God, to get close to yourself, to actually
have a happy life. Without awareness it’s impossible.
So what we’re trying to do is to sort of hit you between the eyes with a sledgehammer so that you become aware. And the
reason why we want to do that is because without this kind of awareness it’s impossible to continue growing. You need to
become so aware that you can feel every single thing inside of yourself that contributes to worldwide events, if you really
want to grow. 
Mary: Yeah. And I suppose that’s a fear that I’ve heard reflected from a few different people this weekend, is
about sensitivity. Because really what we’re encouraging you towards is a very sensitive place. We’re
talking about denial and addiction, which are the things that keep us numb, and underneath that is the
wealth of emotion that you’ve been shutting down since you were conceived nearly. But even if you
consider when you were a child, you were far more sensitive and wide open to the world and you could
easily discern when something was loving and not.
Many of you feel so hurt from your experiences at that time and they’re emotions that you’re going to
have to grieve through. But the fear is, “I can’t even face how hurt I was from that time, let alone go back
to a time when I’m just as sensitive again and I can feel everything around me.” But that is what we’re
encouraging you to do because actually the fear is telling you something false. The bad stuff happened, or
the judgement or the condemnation of that place, happened when you were little and there’s pain in there
to feel and release about that. But you’re an adult now, so you’re able to be a little more in control of what
happens in your life, or to make choices about what happens in your life. And so you’re going to be able
to respond in a more sensitive way just like AJ was explaining; you’ll be able to discern every one in the
room who’s going to potentially harm you, and make good decisions from that place, rather than trusting
as when you were little. You didn’t know how to trust these feelings inside of yourself, and many people
told you they were silly. And so this is where is all the doubt came in and you ended up trusting people,
or being under the control of people who actually harmed you.
If you’re brave enough to go back to the sensitivity now as an adult, your life will be so much more
joyful. At the moment living in denial and addiction, that’s where the numbness is. That’s where we’re
feeling like, “Where is the joy in my life? Where is the part of my life where I just want to sing?” Because
that’s what you felt like when you were little and were doing something you really loved; singing and
skipping and that kind of joy, that’s a kind of joy that God designed for us to have. It’s just that we’re
world weary right now because we’re holding onto so much stuff.