Using Addiction to Avoid Emotions – DAYDREAMING

 Using addictions to avoid emotions – the example of daydreaming
Participant: I’ve got a very strong addiction that is about withdrawing; I go into a daydream. I’ve always been a
daydreamer. Would that be to do with some spirits as well? Because no matter how hard I try to stay in the now and be
with my feelings, I can’t get past just crying. I can’t get any deeper than that. I get drawn away to thinking about
something else. 
It’s the emotions we judge, Terry, that are the emotions we withdraw from. So for many of you ladies, for example, you
don’t judge grief as much as you judge fear. And this applies to many men as well. And shame is judged most of all
generally, whether it’s sexual shame or just personal shame, humiliation. We judge those sorts of emotions a lot. And
with the emotions that we judge the most, we have the strongest tendency to withdraw from using some method. Now
for some of us the method is to go out of ourselves, away from ourselves. That’s a very common method that’s used in
society, just make out you’re not there and have a daydream and everything’s fine after that. You don’t have to focus on
the emotion. 
Some of us like to be engaged with people. That way we don’t have to feel any of our own emotions. Some of us like to
eat because that’s a great way of avoiding a lot of emotion. Some of us like to smoke or to drink or take some kind of
physical thing that causes an addiction rather than address the emotion. It just depends on the methods we choose and
the methods we choose depend on the judgements we have. 
For example if I’m a sad person but I hate smoking, I’m never going to choose smoking as a way to avoid my sadness.
But if I’m sad person and I don’t mind the occasional drink, then I’ll definitely choose drinking over smoking as my
addiction of choice. It just depends on the judgments I have towards the particular thing. 
Now for many of us, we have strong judgements about a lot of different emotions. We have strong judgements of
anger, we have strong judgements about fear. We have strong judgements about shame. And because we have those
judgements whenever we start to feel one of those emotions, fear, anger or shame, we then go into this place straight
away of avoiding ourselves. Now as soon you go into a place of avoiding yourselves, you’re going to have lots of
different people around you, both on Earth and in the spirit world, who like to use that position. And for spirits it’s very
easy. They can then use your body while you’re daydreaming. They can enjoy a bit of time on the Earth while you’re
out of your body trying to avoid some kind of emotion. 
So my suggestion is to make a list of all of the fears and all the judgements about emotion that you notice inside
yourself. If you do that, you’ll allow those emotions to be present without so much judgement. Now there’s a difference
between allowing it to be present and acting upon it. If, for example, there’s an emotion of anger within you, if you
allow it to be present, you’d say, “Yes I can feel I have this terrible anger and rage with Peter. I can feel this anger that I
have. But I can’t feel why it’s there.” So you’re going to have to allow yourself to feel it. But don’t ring Peter up and
say, “Look I’m really angry with you because…” and off you go with him, because that’s now just dumping your rage
on another person, which is damaging. 
But you can feel it. You can just go, “Okay, I’m feeling it, there’s got to be something underneath this anger that’s
causing me to feel the way I feel.” Because if I were in a state of love I wouldn’t be angry, would I? If I were in a state
of love. So there’s got to be something inside of me happening. And if you can allow yourself to be self-reflective in
those moments when you, Terry, go away from your body, the moment just before is the trigger point. Whatever you
were thinking or engaged with right before that moment is the thing that I would hone myself down onto. And I’d go,
“Okay, something in that discussion that I was having, or that event that occurred, just before I went into a daydream,
that’s the thing I want to avoid. That’s my addiction. I want to avoid that particular thing. I use my daydreams to get out
of having to feel that.”