Accidents often occur out of self punishment or a desire for attention in children
Participant: And what about when something bad happens like an accident? The feeling I have is that I’m beingpunished by God, that it’s a reflection that I’ve done something wrong and it’s a kind of punishment from God for not doing something. Most accidents occur out of self-punishment actually. It’s a soul thing that we attract when we desire to punish ourselves. And generally most accidents, even for children, are results of a desire to self punish, or in children they can also be a desire for attention. So, quite often children don’t get attention, a hug until something happens that is bad to them.
They fall over then they get a hug, but generally many children, particularly if you think of my age group, the 50 plus age group, many times you didn’t get a hug at all unless something bad happened. For example, most people would consider
my mother to be a loving person, but my mother never hugged me in my entire life.
So what do you do? You create accidents and then you get the hug. Then you get the attention that you feel you’re missing, and that is a very common action on the part of a child. However it’s also part of self punishment in the sense that when you feel guilty about something, or you feel angry with things, generally there is this attraction that occurs immediately that causes accidents to occur. Yep. There are a multitude of causes for accidents of course but that is a big underlying factor. And it’s interesting that we then go down the track of going, “God doesn’t like me. God is punishing me. I did that wrong and this is the result.” And it just reinforces these beliefs about a cruel God. This is a problem on the planet; we keep reinforcing these totally inaccurate beliefs about God. We reinforce them over and over again.
Participant: Accidents are a major part of my condition from when I was a small child but I haven’t thought of it as self punishment.
When you’re a small child, it begins with the feelings of your parents. So if your child starts having accidents, it’s becauseof different feelings that they are having from their parents that cause the child to have accidents. Normally a child, by the
age of 2 or 3 and even before then if the child has been brought up in a very safe and loving environment, the child is very spatially aware; generally by the age of 7 a child is perfectly spatially aware. In other words they know exactly what they
can do with their body and what they can get away with without hurting their body. For most children still having accidents after that time, it is an indication that there is no spatial awareness inside of them. And if there’s no spatial awareness it’s because of something that’s happened with regards to space, that their parents want to be involved in their
RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD – WHY WE RESIST GOD JESUS (AJ MILLER) life too much, or there’s something going on between their relationship with themselves and their parents that causes them to have a lack of spatial awareness.And that is also something we oppose upon God as well. Every time we have this feeling with our parents, we then start to believe God is like our parents. So this is one reason why people are addicted to rebellion with God, because they feel
God will get too involved in their life and cause too much change. So they’d prefer God only be a Sunday morning thing,if that. Or just an occasional thing, for example we stand on a mountain and look at the view and think, “You’re a lovely
God.” That’s the occasional worship or feelings that most people would prefer to have with God rather than having a day to day interaction that changes their entire life.
And so most of our parents have a deep resistance to having children daily interacting in their life and as a result of that, most parents feel quite overwhelmed when they have their children. I don’t know how many of you have had children, but
if you think back to the very first child you had, for most parents that was pretty scary, in particular the first child. And that’s why a lot of times the first child is very, very involved emotionally with their parents, trying to assuage the parents’
feelings that they don’t know what they’re doing with this first child. [00:40:17.05]
And as a result of that, when the parents have any different emotions towards the child, the child then will either go into a feeling of being rejected, which it then tries to avoid by being self punishing. And when it becomes self punishing, it then gets the reward of the cuddle or the reward of the re-establishment of the relationship. So accidents often occur frequently as a result in a person who hasn’t felt very loved in their childhood except when the accidents have actually occurred.
Participant: Just going back to the hugging of the children, so if you hug your children quite a lot, how do you know being in error, you are not doing it from a needy point of view and you‘re doing it from pure love? Well if you hug your children and the reason why you are hugging them is so that you can feel something yourself, then
that is an addiction. If the reason why you are hugging them is to help them feel your love, then that’s more of a pure desire. And this is a problem on the planet for many of us, and many women have children so that they will be looked
after at some point in the future or be loved.
There is this concept very similar to the animal concept that many people have when they have a pet and that is this ideathat the animal will love you unconditionally and there’s this idea that a child will love you unconditionally. They areaddictions. When we are in a true state of love with our children we can love them even if they totally have nothing to do with us, we can still love them and we can still feel those feelings of love for them rather than feeling resentful.
When the child is very small like yours we often have feelings of love for them in the sense that we want to care for them because they cannot care for themselves but at the same time we often also have feelings of his lovely feeling we have of being able to nurture the child and that’s what we’ve got to be careful of because it’s that emotion that finishes up developing into an addiction and we’ve got to be careful that we don’t have these addictions with our children because the children will then feel bound to us and we don’t want our children to feel bound to us. We are not actually their parent the true parent of your child is God and all you have done is create two bodies for this child of God. Through the process of intercourse you have created the spirit body and material body in conception and then this child of God has incarnated and connected to you.
If most parents had the attitude that, “This is a child of God that I am caring for, rather than my own child,” they would probably feel less bound to the child and would want the child to be less bound to them. They’d be more interested in
helping the child to connect to God instead. Now that doesn’t mean the parent wouldn’t love the child, because of course the parent would. The whole reason why you have a child is because you want to share your love with the child, and the
whole reason why God had Her children was that She wanted to share Her Love with Her children. It’s the same principle.But God didn’t want to get love from Her children. God doesn’t have an addiction for our love and whenever we impose
the same addiction on our child, we finish up damaging our child.
So these problems are all part of the gender based emotional injuries that we have generally. Unfortunately it gets carried down generation to generation to generation and before you know it, we have far more injuries with God than we have
with any other being. And as a result of that, when we start talking about God in a positive sense, it’s almost like our ears are turned off. It’s like (AJ sticks his fingers in his ears and starts singing to block out noise), “Na na na na na na na,” but
then we hear the word soulmate and we go, “Soulmate! Was that soulmate that I heard? I’ve got an ear open now.” Or, RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD – WHY WE RESIST GOD JESUS (AJ MILLER)
“Emotion! Emotion! Pleasure! Pleasure! Sex! Yes. I’ll talk about that one”. And we have this closed viewpoint when we’re talking about God. But when we’re talking about other subjects there’s a degree of openness present.
Reasons that we choose to self punish
Participant: So to deal with the injury that we have that we feel that God is punishing, is it just a matter of really allowing that grief that you feel like you’re being punished by God? Because I get a bit confused and I feel that I go into self punishment.
Can I show you how this belief that God is punishing gets established in us as a firm belief quite young? When we are being brought up by our parents, we generally learn quite early in our life that if we punish ourselves then we can escape the punishment of others. We usually learn this quite young, when our parents need to give us some form of correction
when we’ve done something wrong, but instead of just giving us correction that’s based on love and truth, most of the time it’s also guilt based. In other words our parent’s trying to make us feel guilty so that we don’t do the thing again. And what we learn in that process is that it’s actually better to punish ourselves than to receive punishment
And what we learn in that process is that it’s actually better to punish ourselves than to receive punishment from another person. It actually feels easier. It also feels less destructive to our soul because when we receive punishment from the other person we have a heap of emotions, including total rejection, feelings of abandonment, and quite a lot of other very, very difficult feelings for a child to address if they were totally open emotionally. So what they learn to do instead is they learn to blame themselves for what went wrong and so we learn to punish ourselves. But if you think about it, the only reason why we punish ourselves is to avoid the prospect of being punished by others.
So emotionally, what we’re doing when we’re punishing ourselves is we’re avoiding the prospect of being punished eventually by God. We’re hoping that if we punish ourselves enough God will actually be easy on us. Now if you look at the Christian faiths for example that are on the planet at the moment, this concept is rife in most of these Christian faiths; on the planet at the moment this is rife in most of